And then there was none...

I have come to the end of my thirty day resolution to blog. ::sigh:: It went surprisingly fast and I feel so good saying I have written 31 blog posts to fulfill my first and only set resolution.

In fact, I feel so good about what has happened here I think I'm going to try to be diligent in keeping it up. To stop in every couple of days and blo[t][g] down my thoughts. I'm not making any promises but this would be the perfect arena to keep my other resolutions in check. Like I mentioned earlier the February resolution is to drop 10 lbs. I've actually cheated and started early, but I'm almost half way there! I lost 4 last week. Alright...alright...I won't count that.

Thank you so much, to all my 3 readers, for sticking with me and dropping your comments here and there. And SplendaRenda, thanks for letting me win.

Pax.

Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen and Beyond

I am not a political person. I enjoy dabbling in it here and there but I'm not knowledgeable enough to make extensive intelligent conversation about it.

That said, I am so interested in what is happening in Egypt and the surrounding area. Rebellions, demonstrations and protests ALWAYS interest me. I just love when people recognize the power they have within their governments even when the government doesn't acknowledge the power. The fact this is all happening in the Middle East only makes it all the more thrilling.

But not all America shares my sentiment. This evening I was listen to NPR and the question that was put out to listeners was "How are you worried this will effect America?" How cliche American. How frustratingly cliche American. Will there ever be a single global event that happens without America being concerned solely with how that event might impact the stock market or trade or oil? I am doubtful. Maybe every country does this. But I would hope not. I would hope there would be some country out there that cared more about humanity's rights to freedom, liberty and safety. Maybe I'm too naive.

I took a class in college entitles "Faith and Society." It was in my top 10 favorites. We watched a movie in that class about a revolution that took place in Eastern Europe (I want to say Serbia but I'm probably wrong.) The revolution was non-violent in nature and totally, radically changed the future of the country and area. It was also mainly college age students who led it. I was completely blown away watching it. I was in awe and inspired. I wish I could find my notes to see if I wrote the names down, I will have to look for it. But when I see protests like these happening in the Middle East I am reminded of that video. Of what they could be. If there was anything I could wish protests would be more, it is non-violent. When chaos and rioting leads to death and injury, no one wins. All it shows those you are wanting to prove something to is that you are disorganized and desperate. But if, instead, you came together as a single unit. A strong unmovable force that uses international tactics and internal connections to slowly tear away at the foundations of a regime. To me, it seems so much more powerful. But then again, I'm a middle-class 20-something white American. What do I know?

Just my thoughts. Pax in terra Aegypti.

The sum of a hiatus

Another Hiatus

I have referenced hiatus' (hiati?) before here on rosy-minded fizz. I'm a huge fan. What I love about them is that they can be whatever you want.

So tomorrow my greatly-needed hiatus will consist of a trip to the beach for a photo shoot with the new camera, a run on the boardwalk and a trip to Top Tomato. It doesn't sound complex, I know, but that's the beauty of it. Keeping things simple makes room for complexity.

Pax.

In Light of the Snow

A Daydream by Emily Brontë

On a sunny brae alone I lay
One summer afternoon;
It was the marriage-time of May,
With her young lover, June.

From her mother's heart seemed loath to part
That queen of bridal charms,
But her father smiled on the fairest child
He ever held in his arms.

The trees did wave their plumy crests,
The glad birds carolled clear;
And I, of all the wedding guests,
Was only sullen there!

There was not one, but wished to shun
My aspect void of cheer;
The very gray rocks, looking on,
Asked, "What do you here?"

And I could utter no reply;
In sooth, I did not know
Why I had brought a clouded eye
To greet the general glow.

So, resting on a heathy bank,
I took my heart to me;
And we together sadly sank
Into a reverie.

We thought, "When winter comes again,
Where will these bright things be?
All vanished, like a vision vain,
An unreal mockery!

"The birds that now so blithely sing,
Through deserts, frozen dry,
Poor spectres of the perished spring,
In famished troops will fly.

"And why should we be glad at all?
The leaf is hardly green,
Before a token of its fall
Is on the surface seen!"

Now, whether it were really so,
I never could be sure;
But as in fit of peevish woe,
I stretched me on the moor,

A thousand thousand gleaming fires
Seemed kindling in the air;
A thousand thousand silvery lyres
Resounded far and near:

Methought, the very breath I breathed
Was full of sparks divine,
And all my heather-couch was wreathed
By that celestial shine!

And, while the wide earth echoing rung
To that strange minstrelsy
The little glittering spirits sung,
Or seemed to sing, to me:

"O mortal! mortal! let them die;
Let time and tears destroy,
That we may overflow the sky
With universal joy!

"Let grief distract the sufferer's breast,
And night obscure his way;
They hasten him to endless rest,
And everlasting day.

"To thee the world is like a tomb,
A desert's naked shore;
To us, in unimagined bloom,
It brightens more and more!

"And, could we lift the veil, and give
One brief glimpse to thine eye,
Thou wouldst rejoice for those that live,
BECAUSE they live to die."

The music ceased; the noonday dream,
Like dream of night, withdrew;
But Fancy, still, will sometimes deem
Her fond creation true.

Commas

*I missed a day so I'm adding this*

I love the comma. But I think I abuse it.

Moments

There are moments, in all of our lives and all of our days, where things could go drastically different had our timing been slightly different. Or so I think when random things cause my schedule to change. Like this morning when I left unnecessarily early for work. Even though I knew the commute would be messy and slow, I left too early. And while I was driving I was wondering if by leaving that extra-extra 10 minutes had prevented me from some kind of catastrophic event. Or put me in the path for some terrific and life-altering event.

If fact, I think about this a lot. After 9-11 these stories were common. People who had had business meetings in the towers but their alarms never went off so they were running late and never got there. It is easier to connect the dots after some tragic event like 9-11, but what about in everyday life? Chances are, the differences small things like waking up late make are minimal. But does one minimal thing after another add up over time? Sure! All of life tends to be one cause and effect strand after another. So why wouldn't the last minute change of plans to take the back-roads instead of the main highway somehow, even if minimally, effect the outcome of the rest of your day? Or your life?

Pax.

February Resolution

I'm planning my next months resolution. The fact that I have been upholding the January resolution is a miracle in and of itself, so I feel encouraged to keep going. For February I have goaled myself (grammar?) to lose 10 pounds. I am all set up with Sharecare Move it and lose it, I have a month pass for the Atlantic Club and lots of coupons for great healthy and heart foods to use through the month.

So while I won't be blogging every day, I will be on here often and will have a weekly weight loss update. I'm sure nobody who reads this will be as excited about this as me, but that's ok. This is something I need to do and no better time than now!

Dolla' Store

It used to be that the dollar store was only good for cheap plastic table clothes or a last minute stop in for a package of bandaids (that didn't stick). But I have found that those dingy Made in China dollar store days are over! Dollar stores are now one-stop-shop places for people on the cheap. And while you're still getting generic "Cheery-Os" the selection has greatly widened and the magnitude of stock is increased as well.

All of this, however makes me think of the movie "The Story of Stuff." A video that I take a strong liking to. Watch it here (if you have 20 minutes):



How can a dollar store really sell a nice picture frame or a bag of T.G.I.Fridays Potato Skins Chips or a candle holder all for just a dollar? It doesn't make sense, somewhere along the line someone is getting jipped. I need to start being better at being conscious about these things.

Not the Wizard, the other Oz

I don't really like Dr. Oz. I don't hate him, but I don't really watch enough of him to make an educated decision. However, I do like what he has done along with Sharecare and Nike SPARQ in his campaign entitled "Move It and Lose It."

It is basically an online personal trainer and nutritionist all in one. It is FANTASTIC and comes highly recommended by me. I just started a couple days ago (in preparation for my February resolution) and am feeling totally ready. You should sign up at check it out here: http://www.sharecare.com/auth/dotfit-register

To me, this is what fitness should be: free, accessible and comprehensive. I love it.

Activities Professionals Week

Yes, there is such a thing. And today I got to celebrate it by having pizza and soda and ice cream cake. All 5 of us ladies sat around a table and awkwardly tried to make non-work related conversation last for more than 20 minutes. Which proved difficult. But all-in-all a pleasant afternoon of celebrating us.

I write all this, though, not to remark on the awesomeness of activities people but rather the view of others on activities people.

You see, only a few days ago a comment was thrown my way from one of the housekeeping ladies. She mentioned how she would love a job in activities because it's so easy. I wasn't necessarily offended by what she said, because compared to what she has to do sometimes it can be a lot easier. But it really made me think about how much I complain about my job. When in fact, I like my job. I like it a lot. And even though it has taken me four months to get into the groove of it I find it a really comfortable place to be in at this point in my life.

I know the CNAs hate me because I make them do their jobs and that the housekeeping people are jealous we don't have to scrub toilets and the nurse who wears her hair in a bun will always yell at me when I take a cup from their hydration station. But that's ok. I'm an activities professional. And this is my week.

Betting Against My Health

Today I was offered a life insurance policy. How bizarre? I was made aware that you are never to early to start a policy. And quickly educated on how little my payments can be for a $75K or $150K payout.

But what I find so crazy about life insurance is the boiled down message: what are you willing to pay [read bet] against your own life? What is the likelihood you are going to get into an accident or die and how much are you willing to pay for that likelihood?

And then I get faced with a personal dilemma. Is it right for me to be preparing to die? As a 25 year old singleton who wants to move abroad and serve her Master till the end, is there a place for life insurance? How much do you trust the Father to provide for His timing to take you versus being wise and prepared?

Well, frankly, I don't really know.

Publish or Not

I just wrote a post that I'm not sure I feel comfortable publishing. It doesn't fit into popular opinion. And while this blog isn't written to please, I don't want to offend.

So you will have to contend with this lousy post until I decide whether I want to release my thoughts to the public.

Expendable Income

This might just be the first time in my life I have money to spare and spend. It is so alien to me that it is somewhat overwhelming. I have so many options now, so many doors I can open. Like subscribing to a good magazine, or investing in a solid pair of black flats. Or finding something I really REALLY like that isn't on the clearance rack and not feeling completely guilty for buying it. None of which I have done yet, though.

But through all the chaos that is [but not limited to] American consumer materialism, I thank the Lord for the blessing of expendable income. Because without it I wouldn't be able to treat great friends to great meals with great conversations. Or support an incredible couple serving God in Afghanistan, or partner with a lovely lady in sharing love and grace to prostitutes in Kuala Lumpur.

I'm not entirely sure why God chose now for me to have money but I'm grateful and learning.

Pax.

Oh Happy Day

Too many great things happened today. Too many for me NOT to NOT tell you.

1. I received a package today, one that has been in the works of being sent for a while now. A good [and gracious] friend gave me his DSLR camera as a gift. I'm still madd blown away by his generosity but have been commissioned to pass it on. Will do! Just ordered the battery charger and cannot wait to start shootin'.
2. My Sufjan Stevens Christmas CD box set has been found! A box of stuff that had been cleaned out of the car (including $35 still in a bank envelope) was found this evening in our garage. Which also means I need to make a public apology for the accusations put towards Peter and Jake Vogelezang. They are innocent on all counts.
3. I bought new pillows. If you knew what my pillows are like you would be as excited as I am now.
4. I finally made my father's birthday present of spiced nuts. And they are delicious.
5. A friend dropped off an absolutely European-ly delicious banana, raisin, almond cake. A slice, of which, was consumed with a cup of loose-leaf brewed green tea.

See?! A happy day indeed. Pax.

MLK Day

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.

A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.

All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.

Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.

An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.

- The late, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I know... I missed a day...

...but I'll make it up tomorrow.

____________

Tomorrow is MLK day and I have off from work. I love MLK day and tomorrow I will list a few of my favorite quotes from that remarkable, valiant man.

But today I want to talk about getting to the end of life. I'm surrounded by people at the ends of their lives all day at work. Every now and then they share a glimpse of remorse or regret from things done (or not done) in their lives. I can only imagine sitting at the end of the road and looking back on 75 years of decisions. There are things that at 25 years I look back on and regret, but 75!
It makes me realize just how human we are, just how mortal and decomposable. At the end we are all boiled down to being exactly what we are, merely man. Even if at the end your estate is worth $2.7 million. Or even if at the end you are behind bars. Death waits for no one. It is the great equalizer.

They're Pink from Algae

I don't remember the last time I cried this hard during a movie. In fact I don't think I ever have.

The movie? The Crimson Wing from Disneynature. Yeah, the one about the flamingos.

I'm not really sure why I had that reaction. Maybe it was the horror of watching baby flamingos trip and fall into the sulfuric puddles because of the salt blocks that have collected around their ankles. Or maybe it was the beautiful design of having 'guide birds' to help the small chicks make their way across the lake. Either way, I was completely overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions that I'm a bit dumbfounded by it.

Oh dear. Another thing to process.

Blahblahblah

I don't know what I want to write about today. Usually I think about it all day and think of something to extrapolate from, but today I gots nothin'.

Sorry.

TV

I don't usually watch that much TV. And since our family doesn't watch too much we don't subscribe to anything special. And since we don't have anything special, all our channels are slowly fading away to the HD and black box world. And all those happen to be some of my favorites, i.e. TLC.

But now, I live in a house with lots of choices. Choices of subscribers, and within those even more choices. I find that I flip channels...A LOT! There are just so many shows I want to watch at the same time. Like "You're Cut Off", "Factory Made: Hockey Sticks", "Cake Boss", "Celebrity Rehab", and "Nova HD". HOW DO YOU CHOOSE?

I'm being spoiled. But in all honesty, I'm kind of ready to go back to the old ways. The simpler life. Actually, I'm really ready.

Resolute to more resolutions

The resurrection of this blog is under a two-fold purpose. Purpose one: to complete a resolution. Purpose two: to act as a personal social experiment (if you will). The reason for purpose number two is that I find when I have to write about something, I am thinking about it all day. Originally my plan was to be a tweet addict for a month (is there an official word for that?) but thought that would be too annoying for all my tweet friends. So I settled on this. And I like it so far. To take a personal a-little-before-mid-way evaluation, I would say I'm doing pretty good. Certainly the most held to resolution I have ever made...seeing as how it is the only resolution I have ever made.

So this has encouraged me to embark on a new project. Every month I will set a new resolution to complete for that month, then this blog will act as the forum to keep accountable my actions. I already have a few ideas, and I'm excited to see where they go!

pax

Media in Media

I always find it ironic when people in media mention the detriments of the media. For example, when someone being interviewed on CNN or FoxNews mentions how the political rhetoric of the media led to violent attacks within society. Or better yet, when a news reporter has something to say about the role of media in some kind of travesty that has occurred.

O, irony.

In other news, I like this blog: http://www.publicradio.org/columns/marketplace/china-blog/

Sleeping Habits

I have a dog, but I've never slept in the same bed as her. In fact, she has never been too fond of beds because she can't jump off them. So last night, when I was snuggled by a ginormous puppy of a labradoodle, I was caught a bit off guard.

But tonight, I look forward to snuggles.

Names

Apple, Moxie Crimefighter, Pilot Inspektor, Audio Science, Tu Morrow. All names on the "Worst Celebrity Baby Names" list. I always read those articles that come out at the end of the year about baby names. What were the most popular, the least popular, and in this case, the most ridiculous.
But why is it ridiculous for people to name their kids after things? Be them objects, people or a class you might take in college. Why does the world care if someone names their kid Apple or Cocoa?
In Vietnam they do this all the time. 9 times out of 10 a person's name is just a word for something else. For example, one of the more popular names is Phòng (pronounced fh-ohm) but the translation for the word is 'room'. If the rest of the world does it why can't we? vaq[a cat just stepped on my keyboard]

Things I Like

*This entry is going to not be grammatically or spelling corrected. I am going to just type and leave whatever mistakes there are. Not out of laziness but out of social eperimentation.*

I like lots of things, as do many of us. So for lake of a better entry idea, I am going to make a breif list.

1. Spell check.
2. Lotions that don't leve you feeling greasy or sticky and that smell soothing.
3. This blog: http://annekata.blogspot.com/
4. All the things that I have learned to make from afore mentioned blog.
5. HAving a really creative stroke of genius.
6. Moments of epiphany.
7. Trying a new activity and being surprised at how good I am at it.
8. Rekindling platonic love affairs.
9. The ride to the airport.
10. Airports.

I have one for today

I have to finish typing it but I'm falling asleep. But I have it.

"Between you, me and these walls..."

Around 5 o'clock in the evening, or whenever dinner is all cleared away, I make my way down to the administration offices to pick up the residence mail. By now I know the usuals: Ruth who gets mail from every Jewish organization imaginable, Joan and her catalogs, Marguerite and the phone bill, and random cards or junk mail thrown in to other people who I usually know.
But today I came across a name I did not know. I made my way over to the residents list and found his room number. The door was ajar as I walked up so I knocked.
"Melvin?"
"Yes, come in."
As I opened the door I saw him reaching over his bed to turn down the radio.
"I have some mail for you!"
"Oh geez, I was expecting a bill," he says as he feels the thickness of the envelope, "but not like this." He smiles and I cordially grin.
I notice him shaking and I am immediately running down the list of potential causes. But then I notice all the pictures.
A lot of residents have pictures. Some of family, some of animals, some of creepy clowns. But Melvin had pictures of Africa. And a few of an African woman. It caught my attention but I didn't want to pry.
As I turned to leave more picture lined the back wall and I couldn't help but to stop and gawk. Instinctively, I turned around.
"These pictures are absolutely beautiful!"
"Thank you, that woman is my wife," he said as he nodded to the profile on the wall.
It was a confident African woman's profile. Headscarf, earrings and afro-ed hair.
"She is stunning."
"I lost her last March."
The sorrow hit immediately. I didn't know the woman in the picture and all I knew of her husband was that he got mail from ING, but it didn't seem to matter. Compassion overwhelmed me.
He proceed to share his story of how they met in Cameroon, how he's been there 11 times and how he has over 100 nieces and nephews. The love for his family and the land was evident on his face, so I asked him if he thought he would be able to get there again.
He replied, "My wife's grave is there so, health permitting, I want to go at least one more time. But between you, me and these walls...I want to take my dying breath there and join my wife."

There wasn't much I could say after that. What can you say? We ended our conversation with the usual "good nights" and I walked out to continue my mail route. But replayed that last bit again and again, and then I realized why it was so profound for me.

Because I had finally met someone who understands my sentiment.

A Letter from a Loved One

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail. A letter that traveled many thousands of miles from a dear friend in a dear land. It's a good thing there was nobody else home, because I yelped, screeched and jumped for joy. Literally.

It was such a pleasant surprise to get such a warm Christmas card with pictures included. And while I miss her a lot and long to see that country again, I didn't feel that deep longing I have had in the past. A soul wrenching desire that leaves my heart aching for memories. It was comforting to know that I am ok with where I am for now.

As long as it is just for now...

Family Dynamics

*I've decided that, because of odd work and living situation (the subject of this post) I am in for the first half of January, I am going to make the "1 post a day" rule really mean "1 post in a day that isn't necessary ending at midnight."*



What do a house, 3 cats, 2 dogs and 2 teenagers have in common? They are all being watched after by me. At the same time. And in this short time that I've been here I've learned something(s) about family dynamics.
1. I now know why babies are born small, cute, and helpless. Because if they we born as teenagers their parents probably wouldn't want them.
2. Family ties run deep and are hard to break.
3. It's difficult knowing what to cook and what food to buy to prepare for a different family. What if they don't like pulp in their orange juice?

I'm expecting more but for now it is time for bed. I also, now, retake my stand against high schools starting before 8. Blasted 6.30 wake ups.

Over the past year I have developed a bit of an obsession with North Korea. The country fascinates me, but not in a good way. What started as a love of Korean drama shows has turned into an obsessive checking of all news North Korean. It went so far as me looking up how a single, white, American girl could gain access to get there. I will have you know, it is surprisingly easy.

So when a friend of mine tweeted this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12096490, I nearly considered going back to school...nearly. What an incredible testament to the power of something other than diplomacy. If you know me at all you are aware of my suspicions with government and politics and the efficacy of both. This article serves as such a "go-getter, young-college-unjaded-power, youcansavetheworld" promoter, but actually for good reason.

I wish I could somehow find a way to get into this program, I think I would do almost anything to be able to converse with a local. I did say almost...

pax.

I am Free, You are Not

Last night some friends and I watched the movie, Restrepo. For those who have not heard of it, in brief it is a documentary on the most violent and dangerous area in Afghanistan that US troops were fighting in. Watching the movie resurrected all the ideals and thoughts I have on war and the reasoning for it, but I don't want to get into that right now. What I want to talk about is freedom.

This morning during service we sang a song with the verse "I am free to run, I am free to dance, I am free to live for you." After the Sunday morning haze lifted I was able to process what I was singing and realized that there are many countries in which this song is not valid. Not true. Our brothers and sisters in Iran, Iraq, Yemen, the Sudan, northern India and countless others. Those who have turned from our cousin faith and can't reveal their new lives to their families for fear of rejection, or worse, death. And so many more stories. For them these words might be hard to sing, hard to swallow. Sure, in Christ they are ultimately free. But how does that help those whose physical situation has them bound? It was difficult for me to sing this song after that thought trail.

But then, in light of watching the movie the night before, I began thinking about my own physical freedom. I can stand in a worship service with 400 other people without an ounce of fear my life will be taken by government officials barging in. And that freedom came at a cost, the cost of men and women who courageously stepped forward and gave their lives.

So regardless of my thoughts on war, I am grateful for the people who have made my freedom possible.

pax

Adult Things

Day 1 of resolution: fail. It's 12.59AM on the 2nd.

Today I rang in the new year with a new age and a developing new attitude. This past week I did a couple significant adult-esque things. Like buying proper makeup remover and enamel restoring mouthwash. And crunching some numbers for dental and health insurance plans. Then today I received, perhaps, the most poignant 25th birthday gift--a sewing machine. For some poignant may not be the right word. But for me it is. The 2011 that wasn't looking too grand, has started not half bad.

Happy New Year's to all, and to all a good night!

Pax.